Hats are very useful for protection from the sun, fashion and for covering bad hairdos and bald heads, but there is something about hats that seems to slow people down.
Some think it could be to do with the tight band around the head reminding us of our birth, and if life has been not so wonderful, then those people slow down automatically, so as not to be symbolically born.
Others suggest it could be to do with the extra shade over the eyes making it feel dark inside the car, and some people slow down in the dark (not all).
Caps and Hoodies
Caps have the opposite effect, generally speeding people up, especially for some reason if they are worn backwards. Hoodies are worse, not only increasing speed but also almost totally eliminating peripheral vision along with any sense of fear.
Types and Colours
Types and colours of hats are important. White hats seem to slow women down, whereas brown felt hats appear to have the slowing effect on men.
Beware of hats in cars, even if the hat is only on the dashboard or on the rear shelf. Watch out for women wearing white hats (golfing and bowling hats are the worst) and a carload of them is to be avoided at all costs.
Drivers with wide brimmed cowboy hats or Akubras need to be given an extra wide berth – get off the road completely if you can.
Men’s tartan driving caps (unless in Scotland) mean danger, and if you notice anyone behind the wheel on a highway wearing a tea cosy, in Scotland or anywhere else, call the police.
Old Men and Hats
Old men particularly like to wear a hat while driving yet often when they get out of the car, they take the hat off. Why they do this is one of life’s mysteries that even the men themselves cannot explain. Sunstroke is not usually a problem inside a car, unless it’s a convertible, and then all but a tight fitting cap would blow away anyway. Maybe it’s their way of warning other drivers “Caution, older driver, give way, back off “ as a form of self protection.
Quite the opposite with police, have you noticed. They put the hat on when they get out of the car to give you a ticket, then take it off as soon as they get back into the car. Another one of life’s little mysteries.
Road Safety
If someone is going dangerously slowly on the road, especially on a highway without a hat, police could pull them over and suggest they travel in the crawling lane and wear a hat to warn other drivers
On the other hand, speeding drivers should be sentenced to 3 months in a hat. An old-fashioned wide-brimmed white or brown hat, preferably. I think that would be more effective than 3 months in jail.
Hats do slow drivers down. To reduce the road toll, I suggest we introduce compulsory hats in all cars - put on your seat belt and your hat. Worth a try.
Heather Donaldson - Heather Donaldson is a writer, a registered nurse with a diploma in nutrition, an interest in natural medicine, animals and environment.
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