It is always difficult looking after an ill person at home. When someone is dying, especially a close relative, there is the added emotional distress compounding a tiring and physically difficult time.
For the sick or dying person it can be immensely comforting to be at home with family around, if he or she feels supported and cared for, but if the patient feels a nuisance or unwanted, this time can be a nightmare for all concerned.
Some ideas that may help make life a little easier at this time:
- Difficulty with swallowing tablets? Slip down easily with spoonful of yoghurt.
- Nausea – A sniff of peppermint or ginger essential oil direct from bottle helps.
- Constant nausea – try acupressure wristbands (available at pharmacies).
- Cough – a teaspoon of honey often relieves a dry cough
- Confused – check hydration. Slight dehydration can cause mental confusion
- Too ill to eat or no appetite – juice fresh fruits and veggies, or make light nourishing soups, tasty sandwiches cut into tiny triangles, small pieces of fresh fruits, grapes, cherries, strawberries, etc.
- Offer little treats often – sweets, dates, shortbreads, favourite cake or biscuit, etc.
- Encourage cheerful visitors but don’t allow them to stay too long.
- Play favourite music or radio/TV program in room.
- Spray room with essential oils, e.g. lavender, citrus, marjoram… for relaxation and sleep
- Keep spirits up with constant reassurance and positive affirmations
- Small glass of red wine, brandy or choice of alcohol can be a good pick-me-up
- Fresh flowers in the room, nice covers on food trays, small well presented meals, whatever they fancy
- Massage hands and feet each day with oils (lavender settles at bedtime)
- Sit out of bed where possible, or lie on sofa, for change during the day. Out in the garden whenever able. Sunlight helps prevent depression
- If it is cold weather and there is a fireplace in the room, a small safe fire is comforting to watch, is warm, and helps keep spirits high
- Encourage plenty of water and juices to sip. Add ice or slice of lemon for flavour. Straws are useful
- Dying can be a lonely and frightening time. Just sitting with the person, having a cup of tea or coffee with him and chatting helps pass the time for him and makes life easier
- If the person wishes to talk about dying and brings up the subject, allow her to discuss it . Talking about something makes it bearable. Sometimes she just needs reassurance that you will be there for her through this journey, and that you will not abandon her.
- A pet cat or dog is good company, if the patient wishes it. A purring cat can be soothing. Patting a pet is relaxing and eases anxiety.
- Insomnia - Chamomile tea. Mashed banana with teaspoon honey before bed. One Drop of pure lavender oil on pillow.
We all have to die one day. If we are not sure how best to care for a dying person, we need only ask: What would we like in these same circumstances? How would we hope to be treated? Who would we want to be with us?
Then the answer is easy. Do unto others……
Heather Donaldson - Heather Donaldson is a writer, a registered nurse with a diploma in nutrition, an interest in natural medicine, animals and environment.
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